Arguably, this was the one verse that would aptly sum up how God has been working in my life this particular week.

Hebrews 13:5-6 - ". For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"

It was one that began at a low point, not unlike that of previous book-ins - one characterised by moodiness and weariness at the prospect of another week ahead at Tekong. The reason this time however differed: I was re-entering Tekong with a body that had barely a day to rest after Field Camp (regardless of it being better than my expectations), and furthermore, contrary to what I was promised the week before, I had to redo my BTP shoot for the third time. I believe that knowledge of the latter wore me down down more than the former did. Nevertheless, emotions, like many things else, are not permanent, and the frustration eventually lessened (but remained it did nevertheless).

12.03.12 It would be rather apt for me to use the colloquial term 'sian' to describe how I felt the night before the morning of the 3rd reshoot. But something felt different in the morning; placebo or otherwise, I felt a sense of reassurance from God that this would be the very final time that I would be doing this reshoot, and that I could, to quote the verse above, "boldly" claim victory over the hurdle that was BTP, by His grace of course. The day shoot started relatively well - I missed a total of 3 shots for the first portion, and none in the second. But that, in the eyes of Gryphon's commanders (yes, I had to join another company for my reshoot - that's how bad I am at getting a marksman), that was one shot too many, and I had to try the day shoot again for a second time. Unsurprisingly, as the weight of the rifle started to take its toll on my skeletal frame, my performance worsened to 6 missed shots. Understandably, what I felt at that point in time was a deep fear that history would repeat itself - that more reshoots were to come. Trusting in the Lord isn't an easy feat. To make matters worse, there was the worry that I wouldn't be able to pass my IPPT the following morning (at that point in time, I was not informed that the reshooters would be skipping it) - and the horror of an RT that came attached with that. Pardon the off-kilter and digressive moment here but during the reshoot, I've noticed that guys in Gryphon tend to read a lot more than those in Bronco, and the reading material itself is intersting; its either Time magazine, some self-help book or a sci-fi novel. Regardless of the degree of trust that I put into the Lord that particular day, He nevertheless still proved a faithful companion - the night shoot went by remarkably; it was a great improvement relative to my first and second shooting tries. I missed only 2 shots, leaving the total number of missed shots standing at a grand total of 5 - meaning I got my Marksman! The Lord is truly gracious - the whole day, I felt His hand of protection and guidance aiding me. And on a slightly related note, I now understand, in retrospect of course, another reason why God dragged me down for a 3rd reshoot with Gryphon. It was to make me see that I was truly blessed - unlike their Incik or Sergeant-Major, those of Bronco were either absent, or in the case of the latter, quite an interesting character - neither of whom could be solely characterised by the desire to shout (angrily) at recruits over all matters, major or minor.

13.03.12 Much like how it was following the previous reshoot, the morning that was the 13th of March was one where we could sleep till 8am - very much a luxury in BMTC. The morning was relatively relaxed, as we had little choice but to skip our IPPT, and in its place was an unhurried breakfast, the chance to pack up our stuff a little and so on. The afternoon however was nowhere as relaxed as our morning - we had to do the SOC, this time in standard battle order (SBO). Unlike most of the company, it was my first time donning on the SBO to perform the obstacle course, and good heavens, it is remarkably harder. Needless to say, I couldn't survive/pass it, particularly at the usual culprits: low wall and low rope (those devils). The consolation to that failure was a nice (by Tekong's cookhouse standard) Western-style meal, topped off by our very first early night routine orders (RO) - which capped the end of our regimental day at 9.10pm, leaving us with a nice one and a half hours before bedtime. If anything, the 13th was a good day.

14.03.12 The morning started in a particularly relaxed manner again - though this time, it wasn't planned by the sergeants or commanders, but by mother nature. BCCT training was cancelled because of a really heavy rain, and the only defining moment of the day was the 12 km road-march we did.

1 Peter 5:6-7 - "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

All of us were apprehensive of that 12 kilometres - it seemed a ridiculously long a distance to cover by foot. But clearly, the fact that I'm typing this here is a testament that one can overcome the seemingly crazy, especially when one has a God who cares for him. In fact, it was surprisingly bearable - probably due to the company that God put in place beside me: a section mate, whom I could chat and sing with to ease the burden of the journey. Beyond that, there was also a peer-appraisal session prior to the march, which was to be honest rather difficult for me, especially the part on having to evaluate people whom I see daily, in a serious manner (one with repercussions). But I guess that's just the way things go.

15.03.12 The supposed hallmark of the day; the supposed cumulative point of our BMTC happened on this day - the Battle Inoculation Course (BIC). It was meant to engage all that we had been taught in BMTC - jungle and urban warfare tactics, all set within a simulated war environment, where live firing overhead and simulated helicopter and bomb sounds were meant to add to that effect. All of that however fell a little flat, in my opinion, as we had to wait a little too long for our turn at the obstacle course - and in doing so, we not only grew accustomed to the noise of that 'war' environment, but worse, we grew numb to it. We were desensitized to the point where all I was concerned about was the weariness I endured from leopard crawling, rather than the sounds of bombs or the live ammunition used above me. But the Lord brought me through by His strength, and for that I am grateful. Lunch, like most of the week, was out-rationed: broccoli, a (fried) piece of chicken and mashed potatoes. Pretty simple stuff, just wished that there were a bit more broccoli. I realise that the army is feeding us quite a fair bit of fried food, and worse, is that I'm getting used to it. Subsequently, we cleaned the interior of our rifles for what we were told would be the last time - good heavens, it is a nightmare to get the parasite that is gunpowder off metal. SOC was next, and it was perhaps the lowest moment of the day - I felt incredibly lethargic, and once again, the low wall and rope proved to be an obstacle that was a pain to overcome. Oh well.

16.03.12 Unlike the other days of the week, this day was one that can be counted as being truly relaxed. Morning PT felt refreshing (after a rather sedative week - which usually is the case when one has a reshoot for some odd reason), followed by a visit to the Discovery Centre for some sort of National Education talk, before a nice dinner at Canale with the section mates. Yes, it was a good day.

Oh and as an ending note, I've applied for Architecture at NUS!