It's odd how I actually make the time each weekend to (re)pen down the thoughts and experiences that I went through after each and every week spent in BMTC; its almost become a weekly ritual for me. I also realise that I can never figure what tense to write in - do I follow the present tense that I use in my diary or the past tense, in a pseudo-recollection manner. But that isn't really the point of this post, so I shall stop digressing and continue.

It feels great to be back home, after a week of many firsts - my first time failing an actual IPPT test, my first 16 kilometres road march, my first time in retraining (RT). This week was, with little doubt, an arduous week (but then again, isn't every week like that), both physically and mentally, and to be honest, I'm especially glad and a tad bit surprised that it passed by and large so smoothly.

18.03.12 Book-ins have been, and will remain something that I will lament about. But this particular weekend, 2 things served to assuage that a little - lunch at Watami, and an early (take-away) dinner from Soup Spoon, with lovely baguette courtesy of Maison Kayser. Yes I do try to pamper myself (perhaps to a silly degree) on weekends, as a reward for the week that passed, and a means to comfort myself on the week ahead. My emotions towards the book-in on the 18th was relatively muted, relative to others, and that was probably because of the long admin/rest time that we had - IPPT was on the next day that as you'll see from below, didn't work out very well for me.

19.03.12 BPSM, or Basic Patrol and Security Module(at least that's what I think it stands for), as well as BCCT (why all the acronyms) were things that I've missed quite a bit of, courtesy of the almost innumerable reshoots that I went for; were the morning's activities, and to be honest, because I wasn't particularly interested in both, I cannot quite exactly remember what we did - my only recollection of it (as penned down in my diary) was that "it was nothing much". I suppose that's a good thing - it means that I handled it quite well - of course by the grace of God. What came after lunch - IPPT was however quite the opposite. My Achilles' heel - standing broad jump (SBJ) and chin-ups really ruined everything: 207cm for SBJ and a grand total of 1 chin-up is something that I am terribly embarrassed of, but at the same time, there was, and is little that I can do about it. These have, and continue to be the two items that kill my chances at getting a Silver achievement in the IPPT. I suppose the lack of opportunities to train - courtesy of reshooting, also played a part, but at the same time, it is also my lack of motivation to train during the holidays that is to blame for this. A pity really, as I passed everything else quite decently. A retest is coming up the week ahead. I suspect there'll be little improvement.

20.03.12 As with the previous day, BPSM was again on the day's agenda. In addition, something called Judgmental Shooting was also on it - it was very much like playing a video game with really bad graphics (it was at the IMT centre). Those 2 activities set the stage for what would be a really relaxed day - I suppose that was a way of God showing how He would never allow me to endure something which I couldn't handle (i.e. a day of intense physical activities right after IPPT). The rest of the day was spent helping out the NE skit team - I'm officially a part of that particular team, and I'm playing the role of a weeping woman who had just lost her child (it's a one liner role). Incidentally, below is a verse that I wrote at the start of the day, which in retrospect makes quite a bit of sense (I do believe in divine intervention):

1 John 4:7 - ".let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."

21.03.12

2 Corinthians 5:7 - "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

The day was undeniably a tough one - one that I survived probably only by the grace of God. It started with something called the Ability Group Run, or AGR for short; an intensely tiring (for me at least) 20 minutes of continuous running. It was quite bad at the start, with a painful ache in the front of my legs, but it got better with time, and by the end of the run (which incidentally got extended because we didn't do it properly at first - at least according to the commanders). Subsequently, with little chance for a rest, we did our BCCT - with rifles. Yes, it was tiring - but it was also obvious (and explicitly stated) that what we were doing was a watered down version of the lesson plan. God is good - and I'm thankful for that. Following that was lunch, where the news that flashed on Channel News Asia (at least we have televisions in the cookhouse) reminded me of one thing: the world was, and remains a crazy place - an lone Islamist militant lose on a shooting rampage in Toulouse, an earthquake in Mexico and other depressing stuff. It is with little wonder that so many turn to religion, placing their hopes in a higher power, as a means to assuage the pains and struggles that they see around them. But back to the day's activities: following a mandated rest period, we started what I worried would be a fearsome feat - the 16 kilometres road march. I suppose one can say that God works in strange ways - a CAT 1 thunderstorm emerged just before our march was due to begin, and midways during our march (we were at the halfway point at a place called Rocky Hill on the island). And because of these weather disturbances, the march was conducted mostly along lit roads and pathways, rather than the pitch blackness of roads surrounded by forests. Nevertheless, it isn't an experience that I would like to repeat (but I'm quite certain it will) - my sweat literally amounted to a bucket-load (okay, maybe a small bucket), but at least we had sufficient water, and 100 Plus to replenish all that was lost; I was tired, and my foot was aching beyond measure, but He came to my rescue, and the march ended with me being in relatively decent spirits. So thank you God, your yoke is indeed light (yes I am alluding to Matthew 11:30). And (perhaps) more importantly, I had the chance to shower afterwards - I wouldn't dare imagine having to sleep in the state that I was in after the march.

22.03.12 The only 'high-key' (army speak for really important) event of the day was the SOC trial run, and apart from that, the day was relatively restful. That being said, it was far from a perfect day - first, I've been bitten like crazy on my legs by a whole melange of bugs, second, like the IPPT, clearing the SOC is a wee bit of a hurdle for me (literally speaking, as well as figuratively). The low wall and rope are things that I have a large issue in overcoming. Honestly, I really wonder how I even managed to get into the Enhanced (Leadership) batch, when I'm so far from the standard that the others in my batch are of. Oh well. The consolation was that the weather acted up once again, delaying our SOC run a little (and giving us a wee bit more of rest time), and second, we didn't do 'fault correction', presumably because of the tight schedule they were on. Incidentally, prior to SOC, we were punished as a company for one of the rare few moments in my BMTC life, over the poor relaying of information. The entire 3rd platoon of our company was late in reporting for the SOC activity, and so was the 3rd section of my platoon - how odd that both are connected by the number three. The day ended with three quarters of the company booking out, and the remaining 70+ of us staying back for both RT and confinement - my buddy is one of them.

23.03.12 I suppose I cannot say that my BMTC experience is complete without having been through at least one RT session - and I must say that it felt extraordinarily relaxed. Here's why - there is absolutely no structure to RT sessions; you get RT for not passing/doing well in something, but RT, unlike what it's name denotes, is not used to address that. Instead, what you get is 'own time own target' training, essentially, its entirely up to you how you want to spend your time. I suppose the aim of RT is merely to waste your time, and in doing so, there is an attempt made at deterring you from failing in the future so as to avoid that. The problem is, I am terrible at OTOT things, of which is clearly evident from how my holiday plans to exercise were so easily thwarted by other distractions. All I did on this particular day was 3 sets of 3 chin-ups, 4 sets of 7 lats pull-downs and a similar number of sets of leg presses. Honestly, I don't see how that should help me very much with overcoming both my chin-up and SBJ issues. Oh well. Lunch was spent with a section mate at The Soup Spoon in Changi City Point - it was really nice to have healthy food, on proper china after one week of cookhouse food; it is always thoroughly enjoyable to indulge on weekends, something that will feature in the subsequent blog post.

For the week ahead, I'm quite certain God has a plan for me - it has been this way for each and every one of the past weeks, and the past chapters of my life. So, please help me God, thanks.