At the start of last week, I had every intention of continuing my weekly ritual/routine of blogging/reflecting/musing/lamenting about the week that had passed, but this particular entry was delayed due to my fantastic luck at being selected for the first and only weekend guard duty of my BMTC life. But I'll ramble about that a little later.

25.03.12 The week didn't exactly begin particularly well with a 2.25pm book-in on Sunday; I would still be enjoying lunch outside if it weren't for such an ungodly hour being set for us to return to camp. Unsurprisingly, the morning hours felt was incredibly tight, and because of that, I had to miss my Sunday service - somehow whenever I do so, I feel as if I have no sense of closure for the week that had just passed. To make up for such feelings, my folks and I decided to have lunch at a place called Ramen Champion, where some of the best ramen chefs from Japan are supposedly gathered to serve 'quality' ramen to the people of Singapore. It was pretty decent (the broth was especially

good); the food was quite enjoyable, but the experience was marred by a sub-par environment. But I digress. The early book-in was meant to give us additional time for rehearsals for the upcoming drill-competition (drill comp for short), and as one can probably infer from the time that the book-in was set at, the commanders felt that we needed quite a fair bit of work (it also speaks volumes about the degree of competitiveness that some of the commanders possess). It involved a lot of turning, marching and stomping of one's foot - all done to commands that are delivered in Malay. The day only ended at 11pm - rather late, might I add, of which only testifies to how much the commanders want us to win that competition, and by extension, the title of Best Company (in BMTC School 1).

26.03.12 The day began proper with a re-SOC for those who failed the previous test, and to be honest, there's nothing more that I can say about this particular activity, other than the fact that the low wall and rope continue to remain a hurdle that I fail to overcome. Nonetheless, I was relieved by the fact that it was over - that was the last SOC of my BMTC days. The rest of the day was extremely relaxed, starting with a rest period of over an hour (albeit unofficially) before a Community Chest talk, and ending with NE practice (which in my case, means doing close to nothing). But before the last bit, I must say that I am especially bad at planning my finances - I agreed to donate an amount that I probably shouldn't have (according to a pragmatic point of view), and it took quite a bit of trouble the next week to address that. I must also add that Bronco really has to get its LT projector fixed - moving back and forth from lecture theatres in an attempt to find one that works simply isn't a very efficient thing to do; one could see the frustration in the poor Community Chest volunteers. For some reason, the 9^th week was the week that I started feeling particularly lethargic in afternoons, when I started to crave for siestas - I suppose one can infer from this how I spent my time at NE rehearsal(s). The day waned off in a rather unusual manner - with a haircut; I'm so terribly glad that the previous two haircuts that I did were not done in camp - gosh the barbers in camp are so rough. Nevertheless, it was an experience (I suppose a quintessential one) that I could only experience in my BMT days. Just after the day's last parade, I found out that I was down for weekend guard duty; I can't say that I was especially surprised - I had somehow felt it coming my way, but a sense of anticipation isn't the same as acceptance. The knowledge that my weekend was going to be burnt still felt painful - I wrote this in my diary: "I feel like Jonah, being an unwilling spirit in God's cosmic plan. Please Lord, free me from these [negative] emotions. You said you were merciful, please prove it!" It's not difficult to see how much I resented my fate (at that particular point in time).

27.03.12 Continuing the failures of the previous day, the 27^th of March was characterized by my IPPT failure, caused by both my SBJ and chin-ups. Clearly I'm not cut out for the army life, but it is something that I cannot escape from, even in my sleep. I rambled: "I'm extremely tired, worn down, there's still guard duty this weekend. this week will be terribly long for me".

Psalm 119:16 - "I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word."

If anything, that verse proved to be particular apt for the days that lay ahead, that even as tough times (mentally and physically) came, my trust had to remain in the Lord. I suppose God works in the strangest of ways; even though we had drill comp practice in the evening (gone was our supposedly restful evening), a rather chirpy Sergeant-Major eased the pain of losing our very precious rest-time, in fact, he made it rather bearable, if not decent. Our Company (COY in SAF speak) Cohesion activity got cancelled for the sake of that rehearsal, and as a result, the evening ended particularly late (11.15pm), not because of the length of the drill practices, but because we had to finish up the fruits that were purchased for COY Cohesion night.

28.03.12 I received an SMS from my friend Joel, and it gave me some degree of hope that my guard duty would begin at 10.30pm on Friday night, and end at 7+pm on Saturday night. Reality proved different, but I will delve into that a little later. All I can say is that throughout most of the day, I felt rather down-trodden over my fate of doing guard duty; perhaps even upset. Though the day had nothing particularly significant to it, most of it was spent dealing with the torrent of negative emotions and thoughts sprouting in my head. What put it to rest (temporarily at least) was the evening's "Recruit's Night" - an evening of show and dance, essentially aimed at satisfying the recruits' lack of exposure to the fairer gender by throwing in 2 female singers and dancers. I hated how it was done in a manner that objectified the girls, but all in all, I won't deny that the evening was a relaxed and entertaining one.

29.03.12 - 30.03.12 As the week progressed, I began to accept my fate of guard duty - nevertheless, I clung on to the hope of a Monday book-in, something that was hinted to us earlier on. The morning was spent doing Games Day, which for me, meant nothing other than watching really competitive people fight it out for 'pride and glory' (I'm part of the NE team, and our event was on another day). That being said, as gung-ho and testosterone-filled I deem such competitions to be, I must say that the degree of bravado and gusto put into trying to win it is to say the least rather incredible - especially when one observes how the Bronco Tug-of-war team won. On a side note, I discovered, through the snack bags that we were given, that Piccadeli's Glucose Honey and Milk biscuits are rather nice. We were supposed to have a rather long drill comp practice in the afternoon that followed, but a thunderstorm cut it short. but never underestimate what competitiveness can do - the lost time was supplemented by an evening practice. Nevertheless, everything went fairly smoothly, the weariness passed, and the practices were soon over. The following day was when we had both the NE presentation (a competition in its own right), as well as the drill competition. The latter came first, and if it wasn't for the chap who got his rifle taken from him (he was apparently quite a careless/unobservant individual), we would have won the competition. No matter, at least we won NE. I suppose my role as a weeping girl played a part in securing that win (I am joking), which despite the slightly choppy story line and a lack of full-dress rehearsals, was not entirely a surprise. The day ended with everyone but myself and a few other poor individuals with book-out; I had resigned to my fate by that particular point in time, so the pain was rather muted. It definitely felt rather surreal to be entirely alone in my bunk, without anyone else, having the room to myself.

31.03.12 - 01.04.12 Guard duty officially began at 7 in the morning, and being a 24-hour shift, it lasted till 7 the next morning. To be honest, I have few complaints about my experience doing guard duty, other than the extremely poor cellular reception at where I did my duty (Tekong Ammo Dump), the constantly looming threat of a 'turn-out' in the middle of the night, and the rather boring nature of the duty. Incidentally, as it had been so the past few days before, it rained on the morning of my guard duty, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise - it shaved off one of my guard shifts. The route that we patrolled was interesting to say the least, in the day, one could see wild boars and monkeys, at night, one couldn't see these beasts, but one could most definitely hear them - the boars at least. It was rather scary actually, especially for the first night shift - you never knew when the boar might charge out at you (though honestly speaking wild animals seldom initiate attacks, they only reciprocate to them in defense). Much of the breaks in between were spent either snacking, reading (Newsweek, not Time, as rather ironically, Time wasn't on time that particular week) or sleeping. I must however lament on the poor quality of sleep that one gets during guard duty - it's difficult to rest well when one has to keep his boots on, and when each break is only 4 hours; your sleep cycle doesn't start and end properly, leaving you feeling ill-rested. The night route was much more interesting than the day, it was close to pitch black, 'the almost inadequate street lamps left you wading through yellow lighting and darkness, the sound of crickets, birds, frogs and more scarily, the wild boars, were also another defining [and memorable] trait of the night shift - plus the fear of being rammed into by a rogue and crazed boar'. Thankfully none of the last bit happened, and before we knew it, the night was over, and the mad rush to return home (and in my case, head to church subsequently) began.

Psalm 37:4-5 - "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass."

That verse pretty much sums up how the week progressed - it was only through committing everything that happened, good or bad, that I gained closure over the week's events (guard duty especially), and gained more from regular activities (like Sunday's church service) than I ever thought I would.