Isaiah 40:26 -

Lift up your eyes on high,
And see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not one is missing.

Every now and then, we need to be reminded that God's grace (and by extension, His miracles) can come after either a long wait, or can manifest itself in ways that we do not expect; nevertheless, no good blessing would be denied from His children. This is the reason why I must learn to have faith, to be patient, to trust that. one would know very well what my request here is if one has been reading this blog. The Father works in mysterious ways; this is the story of the week that had just passed.

25.06.12 The morning began in a surreal manner - it was one that started at home, something that I haven't done in quite a while. I woke up from my own bed, had breakfast with my family, I even had the time to blog about the morning just before I returned into camp. Snoozing off for a while in the car on the journey back to camp allowed me one thing - to be spared from the sight of the large (travel) bag and a tote that I had to lug in; I had brought home quite a fair bit to wash the week before: ILBV, helmet, 2 boots, all of these were on top of the normal amount of laundry that I would need to settle.

The morning was quite relaxed - I spent most of it cleaning up some of the store items that we have in camp. Better yet, was the (admittedly odd and fishy) news/rumour that there would be a night's out in the evening; it was the same day that we booked into camp. I chose not to think too much about that - at least in the morning, it felt too silly to be true.

Because we had just completed a training phase/programme called Rotation 1, we had a survey to do - after action review (AAR) is what the army called it. Rather interestingly, it was completed using a remote-control-esque device that some of my platoon mates pretended (rather annoyingly might I add) was a phone. Yes, some of my fellow camp mates can seem very much like children.

Like the morning, the rest of the day was rather mundane (though I'll be honest, I'd very much prefer a dull day than one filled to the brim with physically strenuous activities) - rifle cleaning was one thing that contributed to that. Time dragged on rather slowly, and by the time it was 5pm, my desire for the nights out had increased exponentially, while the prospects of it materializing followed an inverse trend. All hope was lost when we were informed that after dinner, there would be a platoon-level AAR on the recent Rotation 1 exercise. I rushed back up to my bunk immediately after this - I had arranged to meet my dad earlier, thankfully he had yet to leave the office.

Honestly, I was slightly upset about there being no nights out - not because it didn't happen, but because of how we were informed about it: we weren't. Guesswork and logical deductions had to come into play. Apparently it was because someone in another platoon had lost something, and time had to be spent to find it - that was the cause for the cancellation. Oh well.

26.06.12 Mornings are never stellar moments for me - this is something that I fear would be the case for my entire life. Getting myself to wake up this particular morning was not unusual in the sense that there was an unwillingness to it, and that I refused to budge for around 10 minutes or so. Thankfully, it was not an issue to lose that few minutes - there wasn't a need to wear the uniform that morning. This was the case because the first activity of the day would be the Ability Group Run (AGR) - it involved us running, non-stop, for 20-odd minutes. It was really quite taxing; I still remember the thoughts that were swirling in my head as I was running: "I've got to get out of here". My desperation is rather apparent from when it manifests itself.

Not too long after (we had about an hour; that was just enough to shower and change), we went to the camp's sole lecture room, in our uniforms for an AAR on last week's company mission at Murai. It was draggy, not unlike a long and boring slideshow, and I found it difficult to stay awake. I wasn't alone in that - most in the room were also fighting the snooze monster. A little ramble here: I can't understand why the laptops that the commanders use are so poorly equipped - QuickTime isn't even installed on it, and they were trying to play .mov files. It felt really silly that they had so many video files to present to us, and most, if not all were not shown for that reason. The IT team (if there even is one) should really look into this.

An hour after lunch, were were left to our own devices at the camp's gym; many of the guys did their exercises quite intensely - I tried, but I'm no gym nut.

Then came the week's first blessing - it rained. Normally, I wouldn't be head over heels about anything involved with the water cycle, but this time I was, because it meant that our run on the battle course would be cancelled. Obstacle courses are not my cup of tea.

The evening was spent with another round of rifle-cleaning - this time, we weren't cleaning the weapons assigned to us, it was those that were assigned to the commanders, and the spare arms. That made us realise how (insert appropriate word here) some of the commanders can be - their SAR 21 rifles were completely blackened with carbon residue, and batteries were left inside the rifle's laser guide (a big no-no, to prevent damage from a battery leak). Sigh.

27.06.12

Galatians 5:22 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Owing to the rather messy planning at the batallion's HQ office, our guard duty days were switched around, back and forth, from Wednesday and Thursday, to Tuesday and Wednesday, and then back again. Because of that, I was supposed to do guard duty on this day, but thanks to some friends, I got back my spot on Thursday - something which I had volunteered for a few weeks ago. I really appreciate the fact that they did this, especially since it was almost certain that there would be a nights out on Wednesday - they were willing to sacrifice it.

Because the morning's parade was at 7.30am, and everything that needed to be settled was done by 6.30am, we had an hour to rest till then - oh it was wonderful (the extra sleep, I hesitate from using the phrase "pure bliss", because I was still in an army camp).

First activity of the day: Speed training - it was something that we haven't done in quite a long time; it involved us running a certain distance, within a stipulated time, for a few reps. But honestly, the time factor was ignored after a few rounds - that was something I decided to do after I started to get a little breathless in the first few rounds. A gym session came afterwards, and here's what I did: Lats pull, calf exercises, squats, just to name a few.  I realise that I have very little motivation when it comes to exercise, which is why I am really glad to have YL encouraging me every now and then - I need that.

I realise that I am like a man panning for gold in slurry water; these tiny nuggets of yellow that I have found are blessings placed in this present stage of my life by God to comfort me.

Just before our nights out, there was a large block of time that had to be spent in camp, so the commanders (or rather commander; all the others had went out of camp to help another company with their live shooting) got us to play ball sports. That isn't really my thing - it never was, so I snuck back up to my bunk after the instructions were given. It wasn't the right thing to do, but I did it. God forgive me.

Nights out came soon enough, except that my platoon was delayed by half an hour as a punishment for leaving the fans on while we weren't in our bunks. Honestly, we were the only ones punished because the fans in the other 2 platoons were not visible from the ground floor - that was where one sergeant noticed the very rampant wastage electricity on our floor. Well, on my part, I did turn off the fans at my side of the bunk, but I had forgotten to remind those on the other side to do so. Despite the lost time, I still managed to enjoy slightly over an hour at home - we had a family dinner, and cake, as a belated family meal to celebrate my mom's birthday. I really have to thank YL and CL for this.

On a side note: I am starting to get really frustrated and vexed by this one particular chap in my platoon who simply refuses to do anything properly and be disciplined in the simplest of things. It tends to get us into unnecessary trouble - that's what that pisses me off, but God help me. Let the fruits of Your spirit be manifest in me, for I suppose he knows not what he is doing. Help me to praise You by doing what is right, for You deserve it.

28.06.12 Thursday's schedule was exactly the same as Wednesday's, with the exception of the following: there was no nights out, and I had guard duty.

The morning played out very similarly to the day before, so I shalln't elaborate. Gym however differed; this time, it wasn't for everyone, it was only for those who failed their IPPT - I happened to be one of them. Everyone else got an extra hour or so of rest or time to head to the canteen, while the few of us headed to the gym, where this time, because the exercises were guided, it was really quite intense for me, and I left the place with my legs aching all over (I suppose that is a sign that it was effective?) Most of these exercises were targeted to help me with my Standing Broad Jump - squats, weighted lunges and lots of jumping; that tackled one of my Achilles heel, but the other (chin-ups) wasn't dealt with. One can only walk so far with 2 legs in pain (pun intended).

Lunch was western - a chop of chicken, some wedges, boiled carrots, rice, a bun, soup and ice-cream. Authenticity was excluded (I'm being far too fussy here). I wolfed most of it down - yes, I was hungry, and to be honest, while it isn't anywhere near authentic, I don't see how it is as bad as some of the camp people put it to be.

Because of my guard duty shift, I skipped games (yet again, though this time, it was for a valid reason). I had initially wanted to be a 'prowler' - i.e. someone who patrols the camp, but (to paraphrase Shakespeare) because we had to set our fate upon a cast, I faced the hazard of the die, and was selected to be the 1st sentry instead. So instead of walking around the camp with someone, I was stationed (I had to stand the entire time) at the main gate's security post. I had 3 shifts to do - 6pm-8pm, 12am-2am, and the last and unexpected one: 6.15am-7.30am. For the first and last shifts, I had a really nice sergeant stationed with me, so time managed to pass (with relatively little pain) as we chatted about our respective time in JC, about being in this particular camp, and about our future plans (post army). I found out he was from AJC, got a place to study business at SMU, has a brother who intervened at PricewaterhouseCoopers, was from band, and played the clarinet. Rather little information discovered considering that there was 2 over hours for me to find out more. (haha) The 12am to 2am shift however was madness - I was left alone in my rather sleepy state, and time seemed to take forever to pass: it was the dead of night, and barely any cars drove in (it is however a wonder that cars would be entering at 1.30am, but they did). The consolation was that because it was so late, the sergeant at the guard house wasn't so strict about the 'no sitting' rule, and the table and I became one for quite a while. This was what I did in the guard post: for 2 hours or so, I would press a button whenever a vehicle wanted to enter the camp - that button activated the barricade, opening/closing it.

29.06.12 We returned at around 8am in the morning following our guard duty, and I was really tired from it. I slept till about 10am - one of the perks of doing guard duty is that you get to skip training; no strength training, no run for me. I guess God works in this way; had it not been for guard duty, had I been made to attend those training, my legs would have hurt even more (they were aching from the gym training the other day).

This was also the day that I left to find out the results of the medical assessment. I left the camp at 1.00pm (by the insistence of a sergeant, I had targeted to leave by 1.30pm), so I missed some sort of marching practice - apparently all of us had to be well acquainted with the respective marching commands for we were to participate in the battalion's 50th anniversary celebrations. I reached the clinic at around 2.30pm after meeting up with my dad, and there was a long waiting time before I got the news. everything was good, except that I may be anemic (apparently my hemoglobin count was a little low - it was rather odd when the doctor asked me if I was a vegetarian, another blood test a few months down would be needed to confirm that), that my (bad) breathing techniques may be to blame for a moderately severe breathing restriction that was picked up (though if I genuinely were anemic, then that might be to blame as well), and that my back is mildly curved to the right. Nothing sufficient (at the moment) to. I'll cut myself short here.

No, I wasn't happy with the diagnosis, it didn't meet my short term goals. But yet I must thank the Lord that I am, by and large, healthy - that is an enviable position for many worldwide. I won't deny that my mood was quite soured by that, and it was hard to praise God, even though He deserved it.

Just before 5.30pm, I returned to camp, at the advice of whoever who answered the COY's phone line. It was really lousy advice - everyone was preparing to leave when I returned, in essence, I had returned to camp, just to leave for Friday's nights out in another half an hour. Oh well, at least I was leaving for a nights out, at least I had most of the day spent out of camp - what right do I have to complain so much.

30.06.12 In yet another installment of our NDP duties, we returned to Raffles Boulevard to set-up and man the road closures. This time around, my section was doing the afternoon shift - that left the morning free. Along with YL and JW, I went to Hans at Marina Square for breakfast, as well as spend some time reading Paulo Coelho's Aleph, which Ansen had given me a few months back.

About Aleph: I don't really enjoy the book (I'm close to finishing it). Unlike The Alchemist, this novel is passed off as an recollection of Mr Coelho's spiritual experiences, and honestly, it felt really ludicrous. Looking at some reviews online, I realise that the view I hold isn't exclusive.

But I digress. This time around, our shift was one and a half hours long, and because of the humidity caused by a rain just prior to my shift, it was made quite difficult (I was sweating rather profusely). I did my shift from 3pm to 5.30pm without YL (we had planned to do it together so as to go for dinner afterwards) because of some switching around.

Because of the switch, dinner was spent with others. I tried to eat the food they provided this time around, but gosh, it wasn't very good, plus it was expired (packed food isn't supposed to be served after 4 hours). Nevertheless, I ate a bit of it, before heading off with someone to eat at Millenia Walk.

On a side note, I have 5 tickets to this coming Saturday's NDP rehearsal, which I plan on going with my family, should they want to.

I'll be returning to camp later on tonight after a really good 3 days of rest (Sunday to Tuesday), and I just hope that I will rely on the Lord for strength and guidance for the upcoming 4 days.

Be with me, O Lord.